Hi. Its been years, I miss writing down and reflecting myself to what I've done and wish I had. Ever since I entered a relationship, I've been to long distance relationship. Some of 'em are just hours away, but most of 'em were half world far. Aint that funny? I don't know to myself either why can't I just look for someone near me. I had, but twas a hell. I had 8 ex's, i just thought it will just be that. But it went to 9. I know, you gon be like "oh my.." I'm not even into the numbers and shit, I can't get over with my 9th. He's one of the LDR, unfortunately i "had". He's my chulo. Mexican-American, soon to be 20. Cool, funny loving, sweet caring, RESPECTFUL strong, humble, EVERYTHING. Honestly saying, I AM SO PROUD OF HIM. We had a wonderful crazy married couple like time together for 2 months. Haha, go laugh but it aint about how long you've been. It's about how did you make it a better relationship. Well anyways, braggin out of bitterness I gave everything to my man. Everything a man could ever need. Catered all. I never demand time to anyone, nor to anybody. What you give me, i'm cool with it. I understand him without hesitating, i know he been missing out on me and been often but it's aight, at least he's safe. That's all I need to know. Tbh, out of all the LDR i had, this one is the hardest. Probably because I love him unconditionally, gave him everything- My heart, my mind, my soul. I was so happy.. Sigh then one time we went down to talk. I already had a feeling about this. At first time I've heard his side, I know he's pressured. But I don't know the reason but good thing he said it. Lol I let him breathe.. I was relieved and thanked cos my fella said "If he comes back, he's for you. If not, then he aint". He went back eventually. Oh goodness! :) It was really tough on my part understanding someone you really love, not demanding anything though you know you need it. Oh man, I still feel there's something wrong. Like, its not yet okay. Friday came, he happened to message me after few days of not be able to talk. Then he spilled it out. Called on viber and there, serious talk it landed on one thing- END. I was so upset, I never thought. i dont know what to think I said fine, im cool with it just better be sure yall safe. He said he gotta do it for me, WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE ME? I tried to explain to him I'll be fine but I looked stupid and still, it went that way. It's been 23 days since it was officially called, off. I STILL LOVE HIM I REALLY DO But things are not the same as way before, yes I admit I talk to people now tryna divert my attention. Well no matter how much they talk to me cater everything especially those of my closest, they aren't him. they'll never be. I told my former man about it, "I wish you were the one giving and filling those up" and replied "He gives you everything you need.. just like I can't. Even if I wanted to.." and I said to him "I'm thankful for it but its far way different from someone comforting you and catering those than to someone you wish is the one giving it". I felt bad about telling him how i feel about us, i was grinding, i'm hurt. I love him, I still do. I just wanna tell him I want this to work out but he didn't let it. I wish if ever I'll go back, I wanted to see him as he wanted to see me. I'm having mixed emotions whenever I'm thinking about him, me and US. Te agradezco aun a pesar de lo que ha pasado. Lo siento por lo que actue por ti, no puedo evitarlo. Te amo tanto Danny. Lo siento por ser estupido, lo siento por el amor, solo quiero al entrenamiento. Espero que estas bien. Cuidate. Sabes quanto te amo y te extrano. Por favor, cuidate muchousted y su familia. Te quiero.. I know it's not yet the end, this would be just the start. But I hope, both of us will end in the same finish line. ~ End
Hey yall. well i haven't been much on my blog for ages, anyways I came down to write some of the things that i've dealt with, been and will be dealing with. I still can't get over my 5291 thing well its my fault anyways. But I know I will be, someday be one of them. Second of which is my relationship. Ugh, it's just meh! I'll just write a separate blog bout it. Another one is our thesis! Hell naw that thang. We're 80% done anyways but i'm being hit by laziness. Nooooooooooooooooooooooo oh Lord! I know we can all do it, good luck to us. I'm getting huge, and im drop dead serious. I don't know why! This arms is killing me. I look like flappy pig. Lol well forget about it i'll make it happen.
That was the last thing i've heard from my aunt when she story tells.
It's a very nice story, it touches my heart so much. It's about a happy
family residing from Isabela. They had their only son, namely Ronan
Lendl, "quicky" for short. He was a smart kid! Very talented, thou
sometimes timid. But his words of wisdom strikes to every note he
states. Growing
up, he met different people, socializing but never been influenced to
such things. He got everything that other guys wanted, money,
intelligence, love and affection. "But this child.." my aunt said,
never take those for granted. All of it was a happy beginning, until one time.
They had this swimming and his girlfriend invited him to come, but he
refused to. But again, she asked. Unfortunately his father is such a
good daddy. "What my son wants, my son gets." As soon as they got
there, they started the gathering. At 12mn, quicky's gf called, asking
his mom if they could stay for the night because they are no available
transportation to ride home. But his mother refused. She then asked her
husband to pick up their son at the resort. 2am his husband leaved the
house riding a motorcycle. 45mins have passed, no signs of motorcycle
yet. 3am, still nothing. His mother trembles. A few minutes, someone
knocked on the door, it was the guards. "Are you Madame Nancy? Come
with us." they say. The mother don't know what to react, she couldn't
believe what just happened.
There was a VA
reported, along the streets. Tire tracks of the truck, and a single
motorcycle. One person was lying, on the road. dead on arrival. But
where's his son? He was immediately brought to the hospital, striving
hard. But after 15mins,no pulse detected. At the young age of 17, my
cousin died, so as his father. I couldn't imagine my life without
someone asking me for a treat and punching me so hard. I wanted to end
my life whenever I encounter bulks of dilemma. I always say, but
through this, I thought "who will grieve?" I still have my boyfriend,
my best's and friends, my family, my brother, God. And, my Mom. I am a
strong person. but no one can stand the fact of loosing someone close
to your heart. And I believe, that there's no one who can stay blank to
such incidents.
"No one is a mighty warrior, 'coz even Achilles has his on weakness"
There's this girl, so sweet, loving, caring. beautiful and smart. She
was the youngest in their family. growing up with her mom, she learns
different things and acknowledging trials in life not just in her mind,
but in her heart. Graduated from high school, she chose to pick up BSN.
"I really don't know the reason why I took up this course, but maybe
there's some reason behind it." she says. Well, she did great on her
academic career. She then met a guy, they start going out. "He's quite
nice" Months after, she started to feel different, she started feeling
dizzy, extreme mood swings, and vomitting. Yes, she is pregnant. She
didn't know how to say it to her parents especially her brother.
Luckily, the guy is responsible for it and ready to take part. January
came, there she bare their 1st child. She couldn't speak in such
exuberance. The only thing she knew is her family is there to support
and her soon to be hubby. She continued her career, and graduated. But
after 2yrs, she then gave birth to their 2nd child. One happy family,
for the mean time.Years had passed the couples starts to quarrel. Their
kids couldn't stand their mouth, esp the youngest child. The youngest
saw her father slaps her mother's cheek. Tears fall from the child's
eyes and asked, "Why did you do that to my Mom?" "I
just killed the mosquito honey."
At the very young age, she already
knew the word "lies". Through that, the mother decided to bring it to
the court and let both parties sign the annulment paper. They argue still
about which child will remain to their parents but both of the kids
chose to stay with their Mom's. But to be fair, the court come up with
the decision to exchange for taking care of the kids. As the child
grows, they never get close. They grew up with a big barriers and
burden to their hearts. When they both turn teens, they'd been
influence to peers.But the little girl who always cries herself to
sleep stands up for herself seeking truth and revenge. But she never
had the courage to confront her parents in a low-profile attitude. She
nags, brags and threw everything back to her parents making them feel
how dreadful it is to be stuck in a room with nobody else but you.
But eventually, everything started to change. She asked her mom W's
& H's questions. But never been satisfied. As she turned into a
lady and had been in to some relationship and is comitted, she then
realize how much her Mom seems to be so strict when it comes to meeting
people.
